High-Earning Men Want Stay-at-Home Wives?

Posted on: August 22, 2008

Read this statement below from Joan Williams, director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California and an expert on work and family life issues:

Men who are in the upper ranks of their profession with stay-at-home-wives earn 30% more than men who are married to women who work. Those men who want to reach the highest rungs of their career and earn the most money often need a stay-at-home wife to take care of all other aspects of their life, including raising a family. “And since many women in business school marry those men, they end up being stay-at-home wives, regardless of their own vision of what they wanted from their careers,” Williams said.

See, I’m not yet a mother with little ones, and I still have dreams of my future career, wanna earn something with my bare hands,  wanna make people I loved happy,  wanna help people in need,  wanna thank God for this blessing by not staying-at-home-doing nothing,  wanna be an independent woman,  wanna accomplish the 5th Pillar (rukun Islam),  want all the best for myself and for the people. Staying at home is boring, it’s the most dull task I’ve ever known. Doing nothing, watching tv, eating, shopping, and what, waiting for your hubby back from work?

To me, stating a career plan could have two versions of answers: being a single, and being a destined married woman. As a single, I’m quite sure that every woman in this whole world wanna taste the lurky challenge everywhere. They won’t satisfy if only experience just little part of those confrontation for two, three, four, of five years at maximum. If only they have more time to spend, I believe they would spend at least 10 to 15 years. Being a married woman, believe me, there is no woman who don’t like babies, it’s a natural instinct. Women are soft, and liked to be treated softly. If God gives amanah to family to have a kid, then concentrate on raising him/her is the best way. No one has intention to destroy their family life, no one would even dare to think to fail in it. Having such an abundant prosperity in this worldly life means nothing if you are unsuccessful in maintaining the balance with home.

Yet, only if I meet someone who is very understanding the way I am, if and only if he gives me freedom to choose for the beginning, not forcing his will with no strong reasoning, only and if only he gives me choices what to do if I stay-at-home, and only if there is a clear statement from both side about what managing things in a family, and other conditions, I would rather ‘stay-at-home-doing-many-businesses’.  Well, it’s a choice anyway. So what would you choose, women?


4 Responses to "High-Earning Men Want Stay-at-Home Wives?"

I must say this is a great article i enjoyed reading it keep the good work 🙂

I agree! I went to university and got an Ed. Degree and I like to think that I didnt spend 30,000 dollars and 5 years of my life to get a degree that I wont use. However, when I married my (successful) husband he assured me there was no need to work. Although we do not yet have a family, when we are blessed with Children I would consiter it an Honor to stay home and raise them.
I like the line “Having such an abundant prosperity in this worldly life means nothing if you are unsuccessful in maintaining the balance with home”
Good Post.

In response to: “Staying at home is boring, it’s the most dull task I’ve ever known. Doing nothing, watching tv, eating, shopping, and what, waiting for your hubby back from work?”

Having been, more or less, a stay at home mom for the past nineteen years, I can say that raising children is anything but boring and that it takes everything one has to do it well. It is so much work, but work that makes a huge difference for generations to come. Working away from home looks very, very appealing when the baby is screaming and the toddler is throwing a tantrum…keeping the welfare of the kids in mind is not always easy. Running off to work looks like heaven much too often.

Also, in defense of stay at home moms, many of us end up doing volunteer work when the kids go off to school. Our desire to help others/make a difference moves from potty training to helping the less fortunate, to aiding those who need it. Many, many charities and religious institutions are run by moms who choose to manage the homefront full time.

Thanks for your post and keep it up…may God bless your future with His leading, whether it involves a husband or not…:)

I have been a stay at home mom then a single mom then married again. Once I was remarried, I SWORE I would NEVER put myself back into the position I was in before. Now, 8 years later and another child, I am a stay at home mother and a wife to a very successful man. I can honestly say, that if I wasn’t a stay at home mother/wife I don’t know how he would of gotten promoted as many times as he has (2 in the last 6 years) and have doubled his income. It’s not always about the children. It can be about the career, about taking care of your spouse, the person you love. I know some stay at home husbands as well. Their wives are the one that make more money than they could/would and with their husbands standing behind them, it’s much easier to do. I believe when you get into the higher “ranks” of business, you need someone to help you. It really is a partnership.

As far as the job of being a stay at home mom being boring; sure, it can be….if you let it be. When my youngest was born, I wanted to get out. I wanted to go back to work. I was bored, miserable and depressed. I just wanted out of the house. Shopping the same stores over and over got boring, tiring. The same routine over and over was mundane. That is when I decided to start doing things that I had always wanted to do. I tapped into my creative side. I relearned my love to cook and bake, to be “crafty”, to garden and most importantly, to give back to my first and true love, helping special needs children. I could never do it as an actual job, the pay wasn’t enough. Also, our daughter ended up being a special needs child (Asperger’s) and since I was able to be home with her, I noticed something very early and we were able to get her the help she needed sooner than most other children are able to get the same help, and diagnoses.

I completely understand where you are coming from, but before you decide that it’s not for you or that you are wasting your education and shut that door on your life, maybe you can stop and look at it in a different light? Maybe, if you find yourself in that position, you can look at all the positive things it can offer you. Never say never, you might close yourself from a very rewarding and filled life.

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